Tag Archives: Slimy Jonas

Nick Jonas: brooding auteur and future leading man

I know this isn’t the promised “Sleazy” analysis.  Deal.

Confidential to caelestis albinus bibaculus: this one’s for you, kid.

Boy, am I glad he’s not engaged.  #stopreadingthoserumorsLadyG  #itsbadforyourhealth

Congratulations to Tara Rubin Casting; you may have just scored the biggest hat trick* of your career.    After all of the media types have finished blogging about this, please take the week off.  You deserve it.    (As a fangirl tangentially in the industry, I’d like to add: OMG CAN I WORK UNDER YOU????)

Those of you who don’t stalk Broadway.com might not know what I’m referring to.   Here, have some links from reputable sources in the lamestream media:



And one excited link from fan media, just ’cause:


*Tara Rubin has signed three talented young heartthrobs of similar coloring and build to the starring role in a Broadway revival within months.   This thing is already a box-office juggernaut for its tax bracket.  Every tweenmag is probably “hiring” another 5 PR interns right now just to track her movements.  They should give out casting awards.

What the Media’s Saying and Why I Disagree

The role of J. Pierrepont Finch, a window cleaner who rises through the ranks of the World Wide Wicket Company, calls for singing, dancing and, of course, acting. “The score is amazing, the music is absolutely incredible,” Jonas said. Perhaps because of the scope of the role, Jonas said that “I’m considering it my first Broadway experience.”  — WSJ

The WSJ arts analysis has always been written by and for Old White Suburbanites, most of whom seem to have definite tastes but not a whole lot of industry knowledge or industry-common sense.  Pre-Murdorch-takeover, I’d be inclined to believe that he actually said this, but check out what the NYT wrote (and what I already knew to be true):

Years before he was a teen pop heartthrob, Nick Jonas made his Broadway debut as the youngsters Little Jake in “Annie Get Your Gun,” Chip in “Beauty and the Beast,” and Gavroche in “Les Miserables” — three roles he credited for developing his voice for his band, the Jonas Brothers. The acting bug stayed with him, though, and he took the supporting role of the love-smitten revolutionary Marius in the London production of “Les Miserables” last year.

Yeah, somebody involved with the WSJ piece lied, and I don’t think it was Nick.   Although maybe they took his quote waaaay out of context.

ETA:  WHOAH, did not watch the end of that video before I posted it.  NSFW, guys.  I can’t believe the same Disneylebrity who used to wear a chastity ring was OK with this.  Wonder if all the tweenyboppers picked up on what she’s doing.

I fully believe this boy has the chops to succeed.  If you love Broadway, get over your (deserved) anti-JoBro bias.   Talented Jonas has always been talented, and he’s about to leave Slimy Jonas and Married Jonas behind in the dust.   Good riddance.

i’m saving my pithy remarks for the rest of the analysis;  click here.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

OMG The VMAS: Rock It, Beyonce


  • Nicki Minaj needs a new stylist but the same damn management team 4 LYFE.
  • Kreayshawn is doing exactly what she ought to do for her career/image.
  • I haven’t seen the performance videos yet.

If you care remotely about style, you need to read Tom & Lorenzo.   If you care remotely about funny things or the artists listed you need to read their VMA style recaps.   Sample quotes:

  • Kreayshawn: “The look could have been cute and quirky, but since she looks like Lovey Howell from the neck up, the effect has been downgraded to “mental patient with a Gold Card.””
  • Some Blonde Chick:  “She looks like Tinkerbell out on the town, looking to get laid.”
  • Miley Cyrus: “Why does this chick only have two settings: Trailer Park Party Girl and Lifetime Achievement Award?”
  • But THE BEST comment is regarding the Biebs.  They deserve ALL the hits for the line, so go read it.   (Runner Up: comment on Slimy Jonas.)

ETA: Joe Calderone, if you quit smoking I might commit to raising all your babies, no matter who the momma(s) is/are.  A++++

ETA2:  Emmy rightfully pointed out many things about the Joe Calderone performance that are problematic.  I wrote the above comment not having seen “Joe’s” harassment of Britney, so I am no longer interested in raising “his” babies.   I still really enjoyed the musical number though.

Pls comment if you want to hear all of my feelings; otherwise I’ll keep them to myself.   yes, this is a threat/demand for attention.


Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Exploring the Obvious Star Vehicle: The Unexpected Charm of “Sonny With A Chance” (1/2)

That’s a lot of tags, huh?   Well,the Disney Channel is pretty frickin’ complicated, even though it might not seem like it on the surface. Go ahead and skip this week if DisneyCorp makes you irrationally angry or something, but over here at Wednesday Art Criticism Central we’re too school for cool and are gonna talk about a fascinating television show for tweens, “Sonny With A Chance.”

I discovered SWAC last summer and watched most of season 1 and the sneak previews/whatever on YouTube during the off days of my incredibly draining internship.   Mostly because Sterling Knight is attractive, let’s be honest.  But that’s not why I stayed.  (There are, after all, 21 episodes in season 1: that’s  XXX minutes!)

This is not a fangirl tumblr, it’s a Srs Blog.  So I have restrained myself from posting 100 pictures of Sterling Knight in various cocksure poses and tagging this entry things like:  Sterling Knight I like your face; Sterling Knight is sexy; you can be my Knight any day; notice me Horton (big points for getting this reference, you nerd); Team Sterling; etc. Do not think that this is because I have any shame about my, uh, appreciation for this boy young man.*  No, it’s simply that I think the rise and fall of SWAC is fascinating separately from My Man Sterling here, although most of the Internet agrees that the show succeeded largely because he carried most of the dramatic weight on his lovely, lovely shoulders.   OK, OK, I’ll stop….

*For the Record:  He is legal and so am I.   Stop judging.   This will never happen, which is totally not the point of internet obsessions.   Go back to reading your Elitist Blawgs and pontificating on the use of Wittgenstein to predict the Dow Jones next month.


If you’ve never seen a Disney Channel live-action television show for tweens, you probably have good taste and relatively in-tact eardrums.  Saturday Night Live has never been as funny as it thinks it is, but this clip is actually perfect:

My apologies to the international readers (hi, Chatulim!); Hulu is almost certainly the only option for viewing this one.  And let’s not talk about Raven-Symone here; girl absolutely deserves her own post.  (Her new show on ABC family is equally fascinating!)

Here’s the Theme Song for SWAC Season 1, which tells you all of the important context for the show, in solid cartoon theme song fashion.

And HERE is the best moment of the series, in which:  SPOILER ALERT the two love interests finally get somewhere with All That Sexual Tension. END SPOILER  Don’t skip this clip unless you were already planning to marathon the show; I saw this clip way out of order and it didn’t ruin anything.  And because it’s a Disney show, there is no touching.

Sterling did all the acting in that scene, didn’t he?  Demi’s not awful here (and she’s miles better than how she started out), but it’s really his charm as Chad Dylan Cooper that locks down the scene and creates fangirls across the globe.

(If you want to know her answer, you need to YouTube it yourself.  The 2-episode arc is called Falling for the Falls.   And kudos to the writers for not going the cliche route and HUGE KUDOS for Sterling for rocking his response to her response like A Real Boy would.)

is he really going out with her? + another 1000 links

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,