I had fun with meme generator tonight to make this post. This will be a series that I work on in the next few days (it’s really one long post but I’m splitting int to 7). Here is a list of seven people feminists can often run into, people who can be intimidating at first, but should not be feared and should be confronted. I have created each of these images, and they are inspired by my experience both virtual and personal, with people who just don’t _get it_. As a clarifier: Privilege Denying Dudes come in all gender backgrounds, races, and sexual orientations. I’ve met plenty of privilege denying gays, and plenty of privilege denying women. The “dude” meme is just easier to work with.
Privilege Denying Dude #1: Disinterested Specialist Doing You the Huge Favor of Entertaining Your Defense of Feminism in Civil, Objective, Disinterested Debate That You Will Not Win Anyway
Way to Deal #1: Proceed with caution. Do not waste too much time online trying to convince this person as if it would matter at all to the grand scheme of things if you did (and it usually never happens). Since this person is likely to have access and ability to read complex ideas, point said person to particular books, or to classes, which have shaped your conceptions of feminism, and tell him to educate themself, just like you did, when you decided it was worth your time to learn about feminism. If they don’t want to put in the effort, it’s their loss.
Here is a very limited list that I’ve compiled on some good resources on select topics to which I’ve often wished I’d pointed people. Many of these articles were discussed in my introductory gender studies course, and this list only reflects the limited scope of conversations I’ve had with people, not all of whom were actual PDDs, but who I should have still pointed to something other than my own arguments:
Essays/Short Pieces (link available online):
“Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence” by Adrienne Rich – This is perhaps my favorite essay on heteronormativity.
“The Woman Identified Woman” by Radicalesbians – Another great essay on heteronormativity, patriarchy, and political lesbianism.
“A Black Feminist Statement” by Combahee River Collective – Great statement on intersectionality (the relationship of race, class, gender, and sexuality).
Privilege: A Reader – edited by Michael S. Kimmel – All about privilege.
Feminism Encounters Traditional Judaism: Resistance and Accommodation by Tova Hartman – an amazing book on pressing women’s needs in Orthodox Judaism
Transforming a Rape Culture – ed. Emily Buchwald, on rape culture.
Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape by Jaclyn Friedman – I haven’t read this book, but it summarizes sex positivity from the perspective of transforming rape culture.